"Quote My Wife... Please!"

Stuff Stephanie Palen Has Said...

• "When life sends me lemons... I become a citrus inspector."
• "That which does not kill me... just pisses me off."
• On the Emperor's New Clothes: "Not only is he naked... he's ugly, too!"
• "If you can't say anything nice... use hand gestures."
• "Old Rock & Roll is like love. It's best when it's messy."
• "You're so white... you make mayonnaise look ethnic!"
• Upon hearing of the bankruptcy of one of her favorite eateries: "It's really embarrassing when you go on a diet and restaurants close."

Submitted to rec.humor.funny

DATE: 25 OCT 95
SUBJ: Presidential Decision?

After hearing a report about a recent "Presidential decision", I commented
that with Clinton in office, that's definitely an oxymoron.

"No, it isn't", my wife corrected.  "It's an Oxford Moron."

[File Under: "True Stories", from the lives of Joe & Stephanie Palen]