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First rec.humor.funny Joke | Stuff I'd Be Performing If I Were Still Performing

Bobbitt... Would You Believe?

From: JOEPALEN@delphi.com
Date: 1995/12/30

MessageID: S917.2da5@clarinet.com#1/1 

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keywords: original,
newsgroups: rec.humor.funny

I heard on the radio this morning that John Wayne Bobbitt is trying to
get back together with Lorena.  There's just one question...

    CAN'T HE TAKE A HINT!!!

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Stuff I'd Be Performing If I Were Still Performing...

I'm no longer doing stand-up (not in clubs, anyway), but I still occasionally have the urge to write stuff down that I think might be funny on stage.  Whether or not it's funny in writing is a different story.  Stand-up material is hard to deliver without inflections and facial expressions.  And whether or not an audience would laugh at this new material is something I may never know.  All of this, by the way, is an awful way to set-up new material.  Please disregard it, and read on...

  1. (May `97) Once I had this sensation that I was falling, and when I woke up, I was face down on the pavement.

 Don't you hate it when the introduction is longer than the act?!

[Obligatory Stock/Hack Closing] Thank you! You've been a great audience!  I'll be here all week!  Drive carefully! And remember, please don't drink and drive. But if you do have to drink and drive, for God's sake... drive home as fast as you possibly can!  Good night [fill-in-the-city]!!