If you're happy, you're successful.
-----
"It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in
the happiness of pursuit."
----------
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit,
call it the target.
-----similarly...
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
-----and...
It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice
versa.
-----
If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are
headed.
==========
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
[28 FEB 95... Synchronicity Footnote... Stephanie just told me this one
yesterday, and today it appeared on my screen!]
==========
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that
your wife will give you for free.
-----
"When in doubt, tell the truth."
-- Mark Twain
-----
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time
to reform.
-- Mark Twain
==================================
Lackland's Laws:
1. Never be first.
2. Never be last.
3. Never volunteer for anything
==================================
Mr. Cole's Axiom
The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the
population is growing.
-----
Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
-----
I bet the human brain is a kludge.
-- Marvin Minsky
-----
If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is
doing the thinking.
-- Lyndon Baines Johnson
==================================
Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some
people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
-- Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
-----
Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
-----
Thanks to Harry Allacher at TRW:
"We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up
into teams we were reorganized. I was to learn later in life that we tend to
meet any new situation by reorganizing, and what a wonderful method it can be
for creating the illusion of progress while actually producing confusion,
inefficiency, and demoralization."
- Petronius Arbiter
210 B.C.
----------------
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
-- Derek Bok, president of Harvard
----------------
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a
mistake when you make it again.
-- F. P. Jones
----------------
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
-- Olivier
----------------
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
----------------
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in
it - and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot
stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is
well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
-- Mark Twain
---------
It is not true that life is one damn thing after another -- it's one
damn thing over and over.
-- Edna St. Vincent Millay
---------
The past always looks better than it was. It's only pleasant because
it isn't here.
-- Finley Peter Dunne (Mr. Dooley)
----------------
People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of
the future.
----------------
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you
nothing. It was here first.
-- Mark Twain
----------------
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
-- Sean O'Casey
----------------
Ogden's Law:
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch
up.
----------------
Meskimen's Law:
There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to
do it over.
----------------
Brook's Law:
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later
----------------
Zero Defects, n.:
The result of shutting down a production line.
----------------
Mosher's Law of Software Engineering:
Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything did, you'd
be out of a job.
----------------
You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough
to worry.
----------------
You can't start worrying about what's going to happen. You get spastic
enough worrying about what's happening now.
-- Lauren Bacall
----------------
Hlade's Law:
If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person -- they
will find an easier way to do it.
----------------
Baruch's Observation:
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
----------------
Only adults have difficulty with childproof caps.
----------------
Shaw's Principle:
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will
want to use it.
----------------
New systems generate new problems.
----------------
There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire
someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
----------------
It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
-- Phil White
----------------
"I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the
nominating"
-- Boss Tweed
----------------
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
---------
Innovation is hard to schedule.
-- Dan Fylstra
----------------
Putt's Law:
Technology is dominated by two types of people:
Those who understand what they do not manage.
Those who manage what they do not understand.
---------
Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means
for going backwards.
-- Aldous Huxley
------------------
Conway's Law:
In any organization there will always be one person who knows
what is going on.
This person must be fired.
------------------
Know thyself. If you need help, call the C.I.A.
------------------
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
-- Mark Twain
--------
Where humor is concerned, there are no standards. No one can say
what's good or bad. Though you can be assured that everyone will.
--------
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
--------
It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the
problem.
-----
For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat,
and wrong.
-- H. L. Mencken
-----
Meeting, n.:
An assembly of people coming together to decide what person or
department not represented in the room must solve a problem.
-----
Stult's Report:
Our problems are mostly behind us. What we have to do now is
fight the solutions.
-------
H. L. Mencken's Law:
Those who can -- do.
Those who can't -- teach.
Martin's Extension:
Those who cannot teach -- administrate.
-------------------
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot
read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
-- Alvin Toffler
-------------------
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
---------
A penny saved is ridiculous.
-------------------
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
-------------------
A new koan:
If you have some ice cream, I will give it to you.
If you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you.
It is an ice cream koan.
-----------------
Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr Gandhi, what do you think of
Western Civilization?
Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.
----------
"He is now rising from affluence to poverty."
-- Mark Twain
----------
The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
-- Plutarch
---------
Main's Law:
For every action there is an equal and opposite government
program.
---------
The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and
robbers there will be.
-- Lao Tsu
---------
Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.
-- Andrew Young
---------
You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular.
---------
The Abrams' Principle:
The shortest distance between two points is off the wall.
---------
"When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut."
---------
"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."
|||