First rec.humor.funny Joke | Stuff I'd Be Performing If I Were Still Performing
--- keywords: original, newsgroups: rec.humor.funny I heard on the radio this morning that John Wayne Bobbitt is trying to get back together with Lorena. There's just one question... CAN'T HE TAKE A HINT!!! -- Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to firstname.lastname@example.org. Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. Remember: PLEASE spell check and proofread your jokes. You think I have time to hand-correct everybody's postings?
I'm no longer doing stand-up (not in clubs, anyway), but I still occasionally have the urge to write stuff down that I think might be funny on stage. Whether or not it's funny in writing is a different story. Stand-up material is hard to deliver without inflections and facial expressions. And whether or not an audience would laugh at this new material is something I may never know. All of this, by the way, is an awful way to set-up new material. Please disregard it, and read on...
Don't you hate it when the introduction is longer than the act?!
[Obligatory Stock/Hack Closing] Thank you! You've been a great audience! I'll be here all week! Drive carefully! And remember, please don't drink and drive. But if you do have to drink and drive, for God's sake... drive home as fast as you possibly can! Good night [fill-in-the-city]!!