If you're happy, you're successful.
"It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in
the happiness of pursuit."
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit,
call it the target.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice
If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
  [28 FEB 95... Synchronicity Footnote... Stephanie just told me this one
                yesterday, and today it appeared on my screen!]
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that
your wife will give you for free.
"When in doubt, tell the truth."
				-- Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time
to reform.
                -- Mark Twain
Lackland's Laws:
        1.  Never be first.
        2.  Never be last.
        3.  Never volunteer for anything
Mr. Cole's Axiom
     The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the
     population is growing.
Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
I bet the human brain is a kludge.
                                -- Marvin Minsky
If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is
doing the thinking.
                -- Lyndon Baines Johnson
Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some
people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
				-- Joseph Heller, "Catch-22"
Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
Thanks to Harry Allacher at TRW:

"We trained hard - but it seemed that every time we were beginning to form up
into teams we were reorganized.  I was to learn later in life that we tend to
meet any new situation by reorganizing, and what a wonderful method it can be
for creating the illusion of progress while actually producing confusion,
inefficiency, and demoralization."

	 - Petronius Arbiter
			210 B.C.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
                -- Derek Bok, president of Harvard
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a
mistake when you make it again.
                -- F. P. Jones
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
				-- Olivier
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in
it - and stop there;  lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot
stove-lid.  She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is
well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
                              -- Mark Twain
It is not true that life is one damn thing after another -- it's one
damn thing over and over.
                -- Edna St. Vincent Millay
The past always looks better than it was.  It's only pleasant because
it isn't here.
                -- Finley Peter Dunne (Mr. Dooley)
People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of
the future.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living.  The world owes you
nothing.  It was here first.
                -- Mark Twain
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
                -- Sean O'Casey
Ogden's Law:
        The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch
Meskimen's Law:
        There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to
        do it over.
Brook's Law:
		Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later
Zero Defects, n.:
        The result of shutting down a production line.
Mosher's Law of Software Engineering:
		Don't worry if it doesn't work right.  If everything did, you'd
				be out of a job.
You worry too much about your job.  Stop it.  You are not paid enough
to worry.
 You can't start worrying about what's going to happen.  You get spastic
 enough worrying about what's happening now.
                 -- Lauren Bacall
Hlade's Law:
        If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person -- they
        will find an easier way to do it.
Baruch's Observation:
        If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
Only adults have difficulty with childproof caps.
Shaw's Principle:
        Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will
        want to use it.
New systems generate new problems.
There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire
someone, or forbid your kids to do it.
It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
				-- Phil White
"I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the
                -- Boss Tweed
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Innovation is hard to schedule.
				-- Dan Fylstra
Putt's Law:
Technology is dominated by two types of people:
  Those who understand what they do not manage.
  Those who manage what they do not understand.
Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means
for going backwards.
                -- Aldous Huxley
Conway's Law:
        In any organization there will always be one person who knows
        what is going on.

        This person must be fired.
Know thyself.  If you need help, call the C.I.A.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
                -- Mark Twain
Where humor is concerned, there are no standards.  No one can say
what's good or bad.  Though you can be assured that everyone will.
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
      -- John Kenneth Galbraith
It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the
For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat,
and wrong.
                -- H. L. Mencken
Meeting, n.:
        An assembly of people coming together to decide what person or
department not represented in the room must solve a problem.
Stult's Report:
        Our problems are mostly behind us.  What we have to do now is
        fight the solutions.
H. L. Mencken's Law:
  Those who can -- do.
  Those who can't -- teach.

Martin's Extension:
  Those who cannot teach -- administrate.
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot
read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. 
                                  -- Alvin Toffler
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
A penny saved is ridiculous.
You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
A new koan:
        If you have some ice cream, I will give it to you.
        If you have no ice cream, I will take it away from you.
It is an ice cream koan.
Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi): Mr Gandhi, what do you think of
        Western Civilization?
Gandhi: I think it would be a good idea.
"He is now rising from affluence to poverty."
                -- Mark Twain
The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
                              -- Plutarch
Main's Law:
        For every action there is an equal and opposite government
The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and
robbers there will be.
                -- Lao Tsu
Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.
                -- Andrew Young
You can make it illegal, but you can't make it unpopular.
The Abrams' Principle:
        The shortest distance between two points is off the wall.
"When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut."
"Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing."